I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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