That's when you crack a 10am beer
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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