i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
