there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
All the doctor said was why
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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