I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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