question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Your topless pictures make me question reality
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
the raccoons are back...
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