; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
