I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
