can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
