I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
