Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She bit a glass in half.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
