had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
