That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
