Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
