It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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