it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
