im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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