dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
