Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
