you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
