The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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