oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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