I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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