bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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