New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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