Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
