we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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