So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
