Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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