I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
