I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
