those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
