I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
