Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
