So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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