I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
