u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
