Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
