u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
