Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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