You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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