There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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