And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
