Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
