I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
