Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
