32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
