Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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