my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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