I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
