who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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