Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
