I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
