So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just had sex bonerless
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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