Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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