Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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