You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
