when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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