Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
