just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
