you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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