My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
