I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
