I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
