lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
