your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
