My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
