seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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