normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
