It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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