So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
