the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
