u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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