It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
