this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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