oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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