this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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