This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
